Are you experiencing some kind of personal crisis or emotional pain? If you're reading this website I suspect you or someone you care for is. I feel for you and your suffering. Whether it be a mid life crisis or a different type of crisis brought on by life’s circumstances, you are suffering. It hurts! Very likely you're feeling dark negative emotions like depression, anger, anxiety and rage. You may also be experiencing loneliness, a feeling of being lost or disconnected, frustrated or just simply disillusioned. No matter what, it’s uncomfortable and you don't want to be experiencing these feelings.You are not in an easy place to be and, probably more than anything, you want relief. I can honestly say, I've been there.
I also made it through and so can you.
I have some understanding on what you're going through. When my midlife crisis began, I experienced 14 months of bone crushing depression and anxiety brought on by some circumstances I could control and one situation I couldn't control. Then just as I was coming out of that darkness, my wife decided to leave me. When she left I had a choice. I could take care of my son at home with me and my daughter at college or pay the bank. I chose to take care of my kids and I went through bankruptcy. After the bankruptcy was complete, my wife asked for a divorce. From beginning to end it was over two and a half years. After the crisis was past, I was left a single dad of a rightfully angry 16 year old son, a grieving 20 year old daughter, broke and in the worst economic recession of the past 50 years.
Fortunately, all wasn't totally lost. In my career I record, edit and sell conferences put on by spiritual organizations. I have been extremely fortunate for the past 20 years to have recorded and befriended many of the world’s leading spiritual thinkers from every major religion . I also have a communication degree and I’m only two lab classes short of my psychology degree. Yet, if you combine my own midlife crisis with the learning gained from my education and from all the spiritual thinkers I've worked with, you'd think I should never have had a midlife crisis. I already knew most of everything I needed to know to deal with my root causes of emotional pain. I knew about this thing called awareness. Unfortunately, I had not put all the pieces together in such a way that I could use the knowledge to minimize or even avoid my suffering.
However, when I hit my midlife crisis, all the messages about awareness from the spiritual teachers, philosophers and professors started to make sense. And, as I rose out of depression and into my new life built on awareness, I started to put the tools I'd been taught into a cohesive whole. Now, several years later, I want to give these tools to you and hopefully make your life and/or midlife crisis easier.
In these pages, I will do my best to give you many of the tools you need to work through your suffering and come out the other side with the foundation you need for a happy life. I will give you some basic, fast ideas which provide you with some relief from the discomfort. I will also give you some basic cornerstones to start you down the path of a happy life. A life which doesn't involve so much emotional pain.
Believe it or not, there is a choice between to the two concepts: relief and happiness. Additionally, you need both concepts to move forward into your future happy life.
Relief will provide you with a small portion of distraction from your midlife crisis or emotional pain, now. It’s quick and usually easy. But, at best, relief is temporary. As soon as the distraction is over, the suffering returns. However, those brief moments of relief can be a Godsend to the soul who is in torment.
Happiness is a much different goal. It will last you a long time and can even last the rest of your life. Happiness isn't dependant on your external circumstances or distractions. That means your happiness isn't dependant on what things you have, who you're with or what job or hobby you do. All those ideas bring joy into your life but they don’t bring deep happiness, peace and contentment. In the beginning, happiness is much harder to implement than relief and it requires you to face some uncomfortable truths about your perception of the world. It takes work ...but ….it’s worth it!
Many people, without realizing it, choose to live in constant un-awareness of the true motivations for their actions, thoughts and words. This denial of the underlying reasons for their behavior leads to unhappiness and emotional pain. They incessantly seek distraction and relief from that discomfort. When the distraction grows old, they try to find a new relief. They are never truly happy and they expend a tremendous amount of energy fighting off that reality; the reality that they are never truly happy. When a midlife crisis or life’s suffering comes, they are devastated because they lose everything they believe in. Relief usually doesn't stand up to emotional pain for very long. They have no peace or contentment and thus, no happiness!
You are probably more like the majority of people. This is also the group I fell into. Generally speaking, life is good. However, as mentioned above, life can change and a midlife crisis or any crisis can arrive. We fall into the emotional pain and don't have any idea how to get out. At this point, we are no different than the people who are never happy. We can easily become stuck in a repeating loop of distraction relief to distraction relief until we manage to slog through or even ignore the pain.
On the other hand, you've probably met some truly happy people. Even in the midst of life’s crisis’, which will come, they still emit a deep contentment and peace. Additionally, when they experience a joy, it radiates to overflowing and people catch that joy as if it’s contagious. These happy people seem more aware of the real issues and they deal with the reality (the sickness) instead of the symptoms (the negative feeling emotions). That is the happiness I’m asking you to aim for. I want you to be truly happy with your life!
Awareness provides an escape from the distraction relief model into a new model of choosing happiness.
A good way to think of this choice you're given is the saying:
If you give a man a fish (relief) he eats for a day. If you teach a man to fish (awareness) he eats for the rest of his life.
I truly believe most people don't choose their life so much as they react to their life, especially their emotions about life’s situations. Are you one of those people? It’s okay if you are. I was too before my midlife crisis. We all are most of the time. It’s taught to us from a very early age and then re-enforced to us constantly in our daily lives. We see it in TV and the movies. We hear it in songs. It’s the foundation of the advertising industry. Even our language and words support this paradigm.
Are you aware of what you're feeling and, why you're feeling that way? What can you do about it?
Awareness is the fundamental tool! It is literally being aware of your emotions and, even more importantly, the programs underneath those emotions. When you become aware of the emotions and the underlying motivations, you can choose what you really want instead of reacting to a negative feeling which frequently keeps the bad feelings playing out in a repeating pattern.
The underlying programs can be defined as the motivations which are causing the emotions. Examples of programs are:
Awareness, with practice, brings up all the programs, their motivations, their causes and an understanding of your reactions to them. That awareness then gives you the information you need to truly choose your life! With that information, you can treat the problem not the symptoms. You can understand the root cause and change that cause instead of just trying to treat the negative emotions you're feeling.
Awareness is about you living your life not just reacting to your life. Thus, this website is really about you. It’s about your awareness and your choices.
You Want a Happy Life! So Choose it!
Choose the Rest of Your Life!